love / hate.

pretty, pretty book

pretty, pretty book

Right now, I love:

  • Going into my backyard, finding the newest little rosebuds, and carrying them inside for bud vases all around the house.
  • The fact that Modern Chris is now calling me “Tessipedia” due to my propensity to remember amazing stuff.  The irony is that I have a horrible memory.  I’ve just happened to get lucky in conversation with Chris.
  • Listening to the Cantor in the office next to me, reciting passages from the Torah in her beautiful Hebrew.
  • The fact that this same lady has started calling me “Abby” after the character from NCIS, because I supposedly look exactly like her.  You’ll remember that my boss at my previous place of employment did the same thing.  I think it’s the she’s-the-only-goth-girl-I’ve-ever-seen-so-I’ll-call-you-her-name-even-though-you-look-nothing-like-her syndrome, because I really don’t look like her…but she’s lovely, and I gratefully accept the compliment.
  • RoBear, as they call him on certain Twilight fansites.  And also TayLaut.  I won’t go into details here.
  • Seeing my beautiful friends from out of town.
the lovely Jaime and I

the lovely Jaime and I

vintage labels!

vintage labels!

Right now I hate:

  • The question “So, how are the wedding plans going?”  Seriously I’m just going to start pretending like I don’t hear people when they ask me this.  Here’s why:
    • What happened to “how are YOU doing?”
    • A simple “Great!” doesn’t satisfy them; they will not take this for an answer (to the few who have, thank you).  They’ll continue to stare expectantly and if I don’t offer any more info, start grilling me with 45 different questions and get every mundane detail: what exact foods we’re having, every detail of my dress, full descriptions of jewelry, how many guests we’re having, and 1 million other things that are none of their business and that should be pleasant surprises on the wedding day rather than discussed and dissected beforehand.
    • I do not have my entire 80-some-item to-do list memorized, people.  Please stop with the “So what all is left to do?  Yeah?  And after that?  And after THAT?!”  If you are even just an acquaintance of mine, you should know I live in fear of having to recall long lists of things from memory.
    • I’m frankly disgusted with everybody’s expectation that I should be looking forward to this day with all of my might.  That would just be subscribing to the idea that happiness is contingent upon the Next Big Thing happening, a way of life I don’t understand and don’t buy into.  People are always like “oh, after such-and-such happens, then things will be perfect.”  No way!  You can’t live your life always waiting until after This or That happens to truly allow yourself to be happy, or grow up, or be content in a relationship, or whatever.  I want to be happy and helpful right now, where I am.  Not where I assume I’m going to be.  Because you never really do get there, do you?  It’s never enough, as the Cure says.  How very American of us.
    • I don’t think that on the wedding day some magical transformation overtakes you, I think that it’s a process that you set into motion a long time ago and will keep working on for the rest of your life.  The wedding is just a symbol; a celebration.  A time to commemorate the life that Dan and I already have together.
    • I hate that the focus of every conversation gets steered toward cake flavors and hairstyles, as if those things are actually what’s important.  The wedding as a whole is important, but it’s not the end product that everyone seems to think it is.  I’m looking for a good marriage much more than I’m looking for a good wedding.

But as always, I shall endeavor to keep calm and carry on.  Up with tranquility, down with playing 20 questions about party planning!


11 thoughts on “love / hate.

  1. Nothing against my wedding day, which was great, but I understand and appreciate your disgust.

  2. You should do what my sister started doing…she would just tell people it was a surprise.

    “what’s your first dance song?” “oh, it’s going to be a surprise!”
    “What food will be there?” “just wait and be surprised!”

    there’s stuff i don’t even know about and i’m in it.

  3. Good call! Thanks for the advice. Part of why I hate all the questions is because I do want people to be surprised, so I’ll start saying that. What’s tricky is when the person grilling me isn’t even invited.

  4. Well it’s been a tough haul since all the wild nights partying with celebrities and all the drug-addled afternoons have left me with very little levity, but yes. Here is is! I’m glad you enjoy it.


    Also I have been VERY TEMPTED to rip you off and put “bring your spirit animal” on my wedding invitations. The sad part is that some people won’t get that it’s a joke and will totally bring wolves to my wedding.

  5. Plus you’ll might have an arms race on your hands, to see who would bring the greatest/wildest spirit animal. I guess that’d be pretty amazing to witness — from a distance. “Trippiest wedding of the decade, maaan.”

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