Exactly one year ago today I finally caught myself what appears to be a steady boyfriend. This guy has only treated me with love and respect since day one, proving wrong nearly all of the very valuable observations I had made about males in general (to say nothing of band dudes). Last June we had the opportunity to hang out in the rather abrasive environment that is Cornerstone, and after only some very sparse conversation to judge me by in person, he promptly removed all obstacles to his own freedom and reveled in his own happiness for a while before finally beginning the business of courting me. In July he bought a plane ticket to Richmond and arrived in time to surprise Sean at his birthday dinner and spend some time hanging out with me, and the rest is history.
Last summer was, from beginning to end, the best summer of my life. I was finally at a place where I didn’t feel that finding a life partner was necessary. I was doing just fine being happy alone, and felt very lucky that I had finally been forced to realize this truth: with all of my pursuits and goals related to my faith and other interests, I would never need someone else around just to entertain me or make me feel loved. Gradually I had made up my mind not to waste time on any more relationships unless there was a possibility that the other person could contribute to making me even stronger and happier (for facing life’s tragedies, and for all those pursuits and interests that make me me). Nothing short of a miracle would bring this about, so I busied myself with happy dreams of enjoying lone rambles through the English countryside as an old lady.
But by last July 30, the votes were in and “being exclusive” beat out “being single” by a narrow margin, resulting in the momentous Changing of the Myspace Status. Let me represent the reason for my decision mathematically below:
being exclusive with Dan > being single > being exclusive with anyone else
Dan’s character won me over. Love, support, kindness. These are the simple things that Dan shows me every day, and I had not been accustomed to receiving them before in the romantic arena. Where most people think of themselves first, he thinks of others. Where most people throw temper tantrums or freak out, he is patient and calm and has the “big picture” in sight. The thing I love the most is that he is steady and consistent instead of always being fascinated with the latest shiny object in his path.
My approach to describing my love for Dan and how he benefits me may seem overly logistic, or implying an absence of all the touchy-feely things like roses and lollipops and the way his hair falls and the way his eyes sparkle. Those things are there too, and I daydream about them all day, but I do not focus on them here because it’s not the butterflies or the roses that you actually live with, or that you’ll be depending on years down the road. The most important things to mention are the things that I not only appreciate now, but will still appreciate and love about him when we’ve been together way too long to still feel the proverbial “butterflies.” He has seen every side of me this year, from my most triumphant to my most ridiculous. He has done nothing but love, encourage, and forgive me throughout this year. And never once has he faltered. The prognosis for a bright future is good with such a person as he.
But for the record, I do still feel the butterflies.