sour yet healthy humble pie

Lately we’re having the in-between-y cold and then hot and then cold again weather, which means it’s springtime in Richmond.  The bradford pear trees are blooming, and daffodils in basically everyone’s yards, but not much else.  The past week has been packed full of too many activities to mention, so I’ll choose three highlights:

1. Seeing an actor from the Poe Museum act out some stories and poems at Walkerton Tavern (details to come on the Midnight Society blog)
2. Helping Dan fix the NES so that we can be a full-on force to be reckoned with in Dr. Mario
3. Watching The Hudsucker Proxy for the first time, and enjoying it thoroughly

We are making steady progress in our attempts at having dinner with various friends, and tonight’s subjects are Matt and Jenny, with whom we will tackle dinner at the always-delicious Mekong.

I’m almost finished reading A Plain Account of Christian Perfection by John Wesley, and it’s challenging me on so many levels.  Taking responsibility for exuding love at all times is something that’s fundamentally hard for me, as I’ve mentioned before.  Wesley’s views on all sorts of things made him one of the most famous preachers of all time, but that one simple point in particular really affects me.  Like all human beings, I get dealt various levels of trouble to deal with daily, and I can choose to either repay it with more trouble, or with love.  Everybody’s contributing some attitude; some offering to this place, and I want my share — what I give back — to be love.  Realizing that the change needs to take place in my heart and not in my actions only presents an intimidating task.  But what’s important is the motivation.  No matter how much I bungle things or trip over my own coattails, other people can sense a kind gesture when they see one, and they can smell sincerity if it’s there.  I want to aspire to be that way: transparently sincere.

“Askin’ ain’t gettin'” though, as Pork points out, and I have to agree.  The work is yet to be done.  The work of figuring out how to translate good intentions into kindness, patience, and gracefulness.  So far I’ve got the calmness part down, but that’s not enough.  I need to be about it instead of talk about it.

Recent mistakes are starting to make a lot of sense, and to point out things about myself and help me grow, as mistakes often do.  I am thankful for them.  I’ve changed so much in the past six months…year…five years…ten years.  I’m beginning to get a sneaking suspicion that this “growing up” thing won’t be over when I’ve made every last tweak to my nature that I see necessary, or when I’ve had kids, or when I’ve traveled the world, or when I’ve become a wrinkled old sage.  I have a feeling the process never ends.  That makes me happy.

I hope to document this process more both in ye olde regular blog and in protected posts.  To the few of you who have been with me since the days of Xanga, you’ll remember protected posts from those times.  Since the regular blog is just a place for me to document things and for people to get updates on what I’m up to, I won’t bog down that area with too-personal details for all the spam-bots and internet trolls, etc.  Protected posts will be accessed with a password, so just let me know if you want one and you’re on the road to getting Too. Much. Information.

Lastly, Synergeo got an awesome grant but we have to raise enough money to match it ($10,000!) by May if we want to actually get the grant.  The board has been working really hard on it for months, and now there are just a few thousand left to raise.  You can help three different ways, and I will blog about those hopefully later today.


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