heretics, etc.

I used to listen to Revolution Church’s podcasts, and I was surprised the other day to see this Kenneth Cole ad featuring Jay, the pastor of that church.  Jay Bakker’s story is pretty amazing, and it’s interesting that as un-hip as faith is, a guy like him can be featured in advertisements for a major designer.  I disagree with him on several things but his compassion is compelling and seems sincere to me.  And I’m always intrigued to see what happens to fellow members of my generation who grew up in the thick of The Church.  Just wanted to mention it not as an endorsement, but to point out that at least some people are starting to think about faith for themselves and its possible relevance in their own lives, and not as it appears historically or in pop culture.  My fondest hope — and maybe it’s a long shot — is that someday, it will be seen as just as insensitive and ignorant to make fun of Christians in a crowded bar as it currently is to make fun of people of any other faith…regardless of whether they have crazy extremists who have invited this derision or not.

I’m feeling particularly thankful right now for my friends, all those great people that have been placed around me like rows of defenses on a chess board.  I’m trying to revert my focus from trying to do these tangible “good things” to just knowing when to be there for people and knowing how to show a particular person kindness at a particular moment.  I feel like it’ll be more important than some list of positive things I accomplished at the end of my life.  The questions I ask myself about people are things like “Were they kind to you; did they promote love in your life?”  I want my friends to be able to say “Absolutely!” when asked those questions about me, without even a moment’s pause.  I have a long way to go.  But if I ever say “okay I’m all done!  yay!” then you’ll know I’m truly doomed.

Links to catch up on:

• Here’s an interesting article I came across that intersects with some of the issues that have been challenging and encouraging me lately.  We were never promised a comfortable lifestyle.  The more I think about this, the more the concept of “comfort” in a stereotypical middle-class American sense seems unnecessary to me.
• Harrison Street has a blog now, and they post their specials there!  Thanks to Michael Otley for sending me the link.
• Speaking of MO, he is now part of the blogging public.  Huzzah!  Another one bites the dust.
• I haven’t been using Twitter much, but still find it useful and fun at times.  This is kind of the nail in the coffin of it ever becoming a major staple for me.  If tweets could be pushed out to me via IM, things would be great.  In my world of feeds and such, I can’t be bothered with manually checking a web site all the time.  Plain and simple.  Hopefully a third party will develop something soon.
• Thanks to Tobacco Ave for turning one of my all-time favorite music videos into…a news story?
• Oh, suburban grossness.  I love Take That!; sometimes this little community hits the nail on the head.

In other news, I now know what the “manic pixie dream girl” is, thanks to Phil.  This is exactly why I hated Natalie Portman’s character in Garden State.  This idea of this “oh-so-cray-zay,” “like so totally impulsive” female that’s going to come along and save you from being mediocre always makes me write off movies.  It reminds me of this conversation in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind:

Clementine: Joel, I’m not a concept. Too many guys think I’m a concept or I complete them or I’m going to make them alive, but I’m just a f***** up girl who is looking for my own peace of mind. Don’t assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn’t I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were going to save me. Even after that.

I’ve wanted to assign that value to guys before, and I know of a person or two who have sometimes expected it of me.  It seems silly, in retrospect.

I spent the entire day at the Folk Festival with my family.  I’m exhausted from being in the sun and I still have two parties to go to.  Ah well!  Seeing all my wonderful friends will make up for being tired.

sour yet healthy humble pie

Lately we’re having the in-between-y cold and then hot and then cold again weather, which means it’s springtime in Richmond.  The bradford pear trees are blooming, and daffodils in basically everyone’s yards, but not much else.  The past week has been packed full of too many activities to mention, so I’ll choose three highlights:

1. Seeing an actor from the Poe Museum act out some stories and poems at Walkerton Tavern (details to come on the Midnight Society blog)
2. Helping Dan fix the NES so that we can be a full-on force to be reckoned with in Dr. Mario
3. Watching The Hudsucker Proxy for the first time, and enjoying it thoroughly

We are making steady progress in our attempts at having dinner with various friends, and tonight’s subjects are Matt and Jenny, with whom we will tackle dinner at the always-delicious Mekong.

I’m almost finished reading A Plain Account of Christian Perfection by John Wesley, and it’s challenging me on so many levels.  Taking responsibility for exuding love at all times is something that’s fundamentally hard for me, as I’ve mentioned before.  Wesley’s views on all sorts of things made him one of the most famous preachers of all time, but that one simple point in particular really affects me.  Like all human beings, I get dealt various levels of trouble to deal with daily, and I can choose to either repay it with more trouble, or with love.  Everybody’s contributing some attitude; some offering to this place, and I want my share — what I give back — to be love.  Realizing that the change needs to take place in my heart and not in my actions only presents an intimidating task.  But what’s important is the motivation.  No matter how much I bungle things or trip over my own coattails, other people can sense a kind gesture when they see one, and they can smell sincerity if it’s there.  I want to aspire to be that way: transparently sincere.

“Askin’ ain’t gettin’” though, as Pork points out, and I have to agree.  The work is yet to be done.  The work of figuring out how to translate good intentions into kindness, patience, and gracefulness.  So far I’ve got the calmness part down, but that’s not enough.  I need to be about it instead of talk about it.

Recent mistakes are starting to make a lot of sense, and to point out things about myself and help me grow, as mistakes often do.  I am thankful for them.  I’ve changed so much in the past six months…year…five years…ten years.  I’m beginning to get a sneaking suspicion that this “growing up” thing won’t be over when I’ve made every last tweak to my nature that I see necessary, or when I’ve had kids, or when I’ve traveled the world, or when I’ve become a wrinkled old sage.  I have a feeling the process never ends.  That makes me happy.

I hope to document this process more both in ye olde regular blog and in protected posts.  To the few of you who have been with me since the days of Xanga, you’ll remember protected posts from those times.  Since the regular blog is just a place for me to document things and for people to get updates on what I’m up to, I won’t bog down that area with too-personal details for all the spam-bots and internet trolls, etc.  Protected posts will be accessed with a password, so just let me know if you want one and you’re on the road to getting Too. Much. Information.

Lastly, Synergeo got an awesome grant but we have to raise enough money to match it ($10,000!) by May if we want to actually get the grant.  The board has been working really hard on it for months, and now there are just a few thousand left to raise.  You can help three different ways, and I will blog about those hopefully later today.